A taste of the Indian curry

Foreword:-  This post is quite different from the rest,as it contains quite a lot of educational content. So, you might want to check it out later if you are not in the mood to study or learn something that might actually prove to be amazingly useful..! Anyway, cheerio! Have fun!

Over the past few months, I have been looking, or rather, observing the more mundane parts of life. I say mundane, because it is very common to simply turn a deaf ear not to someone's "way" of speaking or the "accent" used, but to the very "words" or "phrases" they use. Yes. By now, you should have come to the conclusion that this post isn't about food or, as the title says, "curries".

Oh damn! Bad news for the foodies out there..!

This post, is instead, about the fact that the English language has been in our country long enough for the "Indian" flavor to turn to a stain. Yes, the English language has been, "Indianised".

And for your information Ani, the very word "Indianised" exists in what is known as British Indian English, otherwise known simply as Indian english.
Yes, I am very much aware of the fact that such a word exists, though merely on paper, as far as Britain is concerned. Also, it may not be wise on my part to strongly imply that it is currently being used in places outside of India. Oh, and by the way Rudha, I detect a hint of an American accent at times when you have your say.
Well, now that, is something. I mean, what you just said...you must have thought it over quite a number of times before saying it, right? And yeah, am just trying a bit of an American swag here. But I suppose am not alone over here. Even i detect a hint of British english.....
Well, yes. How clever of you to have found that out.
Clever! Really? yeah man, than...
Most certainly not. I didn't mean it and it was intended to be a sarcastic statement. But, as expected, you did not get it. You are such a nincompoop.

But hey everyone, words such as those spoken by me, are usually found only in archaic books by Indian authors or in a few Indian newspapers. The English language that once dominated when we were under their rule, is slowly being faded into oblivion. Though I am a bit disappointed about this fact, the common man's English used today is quite funny and many a times, has never failed to entertain me. Maybe it is just for that, entertainment. Maybe it isn't. Alright, let me just put it this way to make matters more easier. Try using(talking), in the English that we are used to,born with and that English we use while speaking with our colleagues and friends(sometimes, relatives too) in a place outside India. Now, don't get your hopes too high, because this works most effectively only in those countries where English is considered as another medium of instruction. At the completion of this small experiment, you should have observed something. Believe me, the end result will be quite amusing!

Amusing you say..? Okay then, why don't you throw me an example?
Alright then. "What is your good name my friend?". Let's see you answer that.
Dude, seriously, I wasn't joking about the "example" part.
Neither am I. Just answer the question.
Yeah, whatever. It's Rudha.
Very good. Now, what is your bad name?
Eh... what? bad name?
Precisely.
I don't get it...?
As expected. Well, you see, there is no such thing as a "good name" and a "bad name". A name is an identity and it does just that. It may be good for some, may not be for others. But that doesn't make it bad, or stale. What I gave you is one very common example of "Indianised" english and you can surely find quite a lot of them nonchalantly using this phrase while commencing a conversation. Try using this somewhere outside India and you may not end up being the laughing stock(at least not immediately), but you will definitely end up having a quick, quirky repartee.
Hm...Interesting...

But wait everyone, there's more.

Note:- The next part of this post will be more like a conversation, as I am in the mood to quiz the other guy. Let's see how much he knows.. or doesn't know...

So, Rudha, are you ready for round two?
Yeah, I guess so. Hit me with your best shot!
Alright then. Moving onto academics,  how well do you seem to follow the lessons?
Aah... okay, you got me there. I agree that you are more smarter than me. I find it difficult to cope up with the lessons.
Ha! Got you there. In just one sentence, I have found two mistakes in what you just said.
*stares with eyes wide open, and his mouth,gaping*
Quit the role-playing and let me get onto the meatier part. Your first mistake. This is very common, not only here, but in the western countries too. It is so common that it is thought to have come from what is known as American English. You know, these days, there is a lot of the "American influence" and, it has made a drastic effect in our formal language. Right from the way we speak with our clients,colleagues and friends to how we text, we can always find a spoonful of this English. What you said was "more smarter". This, is incorrect grammatically and is referred to as a double comparative. You either say smarter, or more smart.

Your second mistake lies in the last part of your phrase. "coping up with the lessons". Now this may sound like a wee mistake, but in fact, is quite serious. Grammatically, coping "up" with is completely incorrect. The correct usage would be "difficult to cope with the lessons/studies".
Wow man! I never knew these were incorrect. Anyway, I guess it's my chance now. Consider such a scenario where you just changed houses(to a newer one). How would you answer when someone asks you about the same?
Simple. "I just moved into a new house."
Exactly. You know, I have come across quite a lot of our people using the word "shift", as in "shifted to a new house" or, "I am shifting elsewhere". Well, if you ask me, we only "shift" gears in vehicles, or "shift" our bodies from one position to another. I mean, c'mon, you cannot possibly "shift" an entire house from one position to another, unless you are in a caravan, or a house with wheels and its a zombie apocalypse.
"I just moved in."
"I am going to move down south."
Yes Rudha. So, what I was trying to say here was not to establish the fact that our english and our way of speaking or our choice of phrases and words is broken, but that what we think most of the time as the right way is actually quite the contrary. By this post, I have only tried to bring out the common and the most ignorant mistakes that we do. Yes, it isn't that humiliating once committed, but, we are sure to set a wheel of the never ending comments that may be passed when our backs are turned.
Anyway, I suppose that this is an "over-dose" of English grammar for one day. I am going to stop here or you will find it difficult to "cope up with" the content here.